Julie Nelson gave a fantastic presentation on behavior management at roundtable this month. I have heard her presentation a couple times now. Each time I have come away with a renewed sense of confidence and determination to be not only a better scout leader but also a better parent. We can't really do the presentation justice on a blog but here is a summary that will give you a good idea of the content.
Behavior Management: Mindset Matters by Julie Nelson
Old Mindset- It is stressful and troublesome, don’t want to kill the fun, hasn’t worked in the past, fear of being strict, ignoring is easier, they have tough lives so I want to be compassionate
New Mindset- (Busting the Myths) Initial battle is tough but EVERYONE IS HAPPIER, disrespect creates resentment, if it’s not working try another approach, to ignore is to give permission, they will know I care, kids will have fun with good or bad behavior, which is healthier?
4 Keys to a new MINDSET
1. “Mean”: The New Nice.
Effective behavior management, accountability and high expectations made me a happier kinder, more sensitive, compassionate and engaged leader.
2. Children forgive us
Taking control feels risky, we may make mistakes or hurt their feelings but they know we care and that we always forgive them, so Kids will forgive us
3. The little things matter.
It is important to catch small misbehaviors, otherwise misbehaving becomes a game for kids.
Stop bad behavior when it is small or it progresses to bigger and bigger
4. Rules are my promise to help.
Rule: Be safe = I will make sure you are safe and feel safe. I will teach you how to Stay Safe
Rule: Be Respectful = I will help you be respectful and I will make sure that your are treated with respect
4 Helpful Tips
1. Expectations- Clear, Understand your expectations
Communicated, make sure kids know your expectations
High expectations (think of them as great people who have their moments, and are still learning)
2. Behavior management, It’s a game.
Have fun!- See the humor in the situation, don’t get angry.
Hitting the wall gets boring.
Small consequences, administered without hesitation, and never twice with a “big gun” (figurative) consequence, when small interventions are ineffective.
Rewards are more effective when they are given inconsistently.
4. Be respectful and kind, never judge
The Cherry on Top: Fixed vs Growth Mindset